On December 4th-2024 I was to attend a Faith Formation Class for Adults at St. Joseph Catholic Church from 6:30 PM to 7:30 PM, focusing on how to lead our domestic Home Church through Advent—the season that brings the "Light of Christ into the Darkened Times Before Christmas." With all the responsibilities of managing our household, I almost made the decision not to go. Looking back, I can see how that might have been the easier choice, but I felt a pull to be there.
As I drove to the church, I felt the familiar chill of December creeping in. It was dark and cold outside, and I was frustrated about running late, having rushed to give my husband those last-minute instructions before I left. When I finally arrived at the church, I chose to park across the street and walk over. As I got out, I let out a sigh, and grabbed my purse, but then hesitated. I decided to toss my purse back into my car and lock it. The thought of leaving it inside the car initially nagged at me, yet in that frazzled, autopilot mindset, I just wanted to find some warmth and spirituality in the evening ahead.
I wish I could say that the "nag" was the only thing I had to face after the talk, especially after having such a meaningful conversation with our parish priest and the speaker about the Advent wreath that Larry Sr. and Robert created last year. They echoed my sentiments about how special it was, shining a message of love for everyone passing by our home during Advent. It was heartening to share that moment.
We also talked about the dark times we all experience and how only Christ can truly handle our burdens when we bring them to Him. Little did I know how much I would need that reassurance after leaving the event?
When I got back to my car, everything seemed normal at first. But as I slid into the driver’s seat, confusion set in; it felt unusually cold, and I noticed little shards of glass scattered everywhere. My heart sank. I suddenly realized that my passenger window had been shattered, and my purse was gone. The shock washed over me, mixed with a profound sense of regret. I felt an almost paralyzing realization that I should have been more careful. It was a jarring reminder that even on nights filled with the promise of hope, we can sometimes face unexpected challenges.
I immediately searched my car, my heart sinking as I realized my purse was gone. Stepping out of the vehicle, I stood in the darkened parking lot, a wave of anger and frustration washing over me. I hoped no one was watching as I slammed the driver's door and locked it, ironically, as well as feeling a mix of vulnerability and instinct protecting myself.
As I hurriedly made my way back into the church, I noticed the speaker of the class walking toward her car, pulling along her bag with a warm smile. Cheerfully saying to me, “It was good to see you, Diane. Thank you for coming". I responded, trying to mask my agitation, "Yes, you too, and thank you, but I'm very upset right now. Someone just smashed the window of my van and stole my purse."
She looked genuinely shaken to and for me, offered her best wishes as she hurried to her car. At that moment, I wished I had turned back to walk with her, wanting to ensure she felt safe on her own, yet I knew that my turmoil made it difficult to focus on anything else. This said I was grateful that I had the presence of mind to locate Father Chris and my high school friend and A-NOD INC member, David Ortega as well as my husband Larry to tell them what had happened. Their support meant a lot to me, especially after what had happened. Without their help or presence, I would have felt shattered more than I showing. Sometimes masking is what gets one through a trauma that one doesn't want to do, ever.
From this point forward, I will share my story from the perspective of what I wish I had known or done after experiencing such a horrific event. This said I was fortunate to have a compassionate priest, my friend, and my husband by my side who truly understood the deep anger and hurt I felt. They reminded me that during times of crisis, simply being a presence for someone can be one of the greatest gifts.
This said, while the path forward may not be clear-cut, I hope that by sharing my experiences, they might resonate with you and offer some comfort or guidance especially if you find yourself facing a similar situation. This said, please remember that A-NOD INC is here to support you. You are not alone on this journey.
First and foremost, I want you to take a moment to BREATHE deeply. It’s important to understand that while what happens to you is, it is not okay—and it should never happen to anyone—and that it will be okay in time. You are not alone, and you have the strength to journey through and heal.
Second, it’s essential to find someone who can support you during this challenging time. Going through this alone can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to fall into autopilot mode, making it difficult to remember the steps that can help "make your world feel safe again," especially in the moments right after the event. It's okay to lean on others; allow them to care for you. Having someone by your side is invaluable, especially when you’re feeling shaken and vulnerable. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Third, please take a moment to call the police and share what has happened. If you’re dealing with anxiety, disabilities, or sensory concerns, it's completely okay to let them know. This will allow them to send a Crisis Unit to offer you extra support if needed. And if they ask for your location, try to provide as much information as you can. When mentioning the address, you might mention what street you're parked on, letting them know how dark it is outside, and share that you’re parked across from the church, especially If there’s a specific spot at the church where you’d feel more comfortable meeting, Also, it may prove helpful l to ask them what time you can expect them to arrive. Remember, you can offer as many details as you feel comfortable sharing or asking the questions that you may need to ask so that all are on the same page before they arrive. This way, you can feel assured that someone will be with you until the officer gets there and that they will meet you in a place you both understand and are aware of their presence when they do arrive. This provides a safe and secure space for all involved as well as creates an understanding especially if you are female. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to seek the help you need.
Fourth, when you need to speak with an officer, it's helpful to have a supportive person by your side during the conversation. This way, you can feel more at ease and confident about what you’re discussing. If anything is unclear, your companion can step in to help clarify the officer's questions lessening the fear, anxities, or intimidation that one may experience. This support is especially valuable if you have any conditions that require additional understanding or accommodations. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Fifth, when an officer asks to take pictures of your vehicle or requests that you remove something from the car, it’s completely understandable to seek clarification on what they want and why. If the situation feels overwhelming, especially with glass scattered around, don't hesitate to ask how the Officer would like you to do this or if they can retrieve the item they mentioned. Remember, this isn't the time to feel rushed, and it's important to take a moment to understand what they need from you. This said, before you leave the scene, feel free to ask any other questions you have and be sure to take the officer's card for future conversations and follow-up. Clarity is important during this time.
Sixth, I want you to take a moment to focus on what you need to do the following day and even that night. It’s important to reach out to your bank and credit bureaus. Also creating a detailed list of the items that were stolen can help you figure out the steps you need to take to replace and secure everything. Again one may feel overwhelmed, yet again remember that you are not alone in this. You didn’t cause this situation; someone else made that choice, and it’s completely valid to feel hurt and frustrated. Remember, it’s not okay what happened, but you will be okay. With support and understanding, take it one step at a time, the pieces will come back together.
This said A-NOD INC understands that everyone has their journey, so I want to clarify that what comes next isn't a directive; it's just the path I chose to take after this happened to me. This said I hope this blog can offer some guidance as you navigate your way through this life experience mindfully, especially during the first month after this event. This said:
1. A-NOD INC understands how important it is to have your identification in order. To obtain a replacement driver's license, please schedule an appointment at your local Driver's License Station. It may help to bring your birth certificate along with any mail that confirms your current address. Taking these steps will ensure you can easily verify your identity. Remember, there will be those license representatives who will assure you that your ID will be reinstated and "that it will alert others to know that your original ID was compromised and that "that the one you have obtained" is proof of your process". Anyone choosing to use "your compromised ID will meet with legal outcomes.
2. A-NOD INC understands how stressful protecting your bank accounts after this event can be, yet these bankers at your bank recognize the seriousness of this situation and are very capable of guiding you through the securing process. They will help you walk through the process to ensure that your accounts are frozen, stopped, and changed as needed to protect your finances. I also recommend a password be placed on your accounts for future contacts with your bank and bankers assisting you with future interactions so that "those trying to compromise your accounts won't."
3. A-NOD INC understands If there are any follow-ups with a detective, please take a moment to check in about any potential video footage or additional details that may come to light after the first few days. This said, if you need a supportive person to assist you with this step especially if you deal with situational anxieties, invisible disabilities, and sensory health concerns, reach out, because they may have questions or insights that may need addressing which also helps all involved especially in "finding your purse or locating the one that stoled it".
4. A-NOD INC understands if you’re facing issues with a lost SSI card or funds, how frustrating and stressful that can be especially because of the inability one has initially to "identify who you are on so many levels". For this, I recommend reaching out to your local SSI Administration Building for assistance. Please keep in mind that, in Iowa, this process can become quite timely, lengthy, and unique in terms of documenting who you are and why, because you won’t be able to walk into the building and request a new card directly. That said, call your SSI Representative, explain the situation, and then ask questions after they provide you with the SSI Replacement Form, which offers clear, step-by-step instructions to guide you and uniquely help you to recover your new SSI Cards thus finally "feeling able to breathe" again knowing that all of your safeguards are in place.
Because above all else, feeling safe within our space, is very important. Along with the hope that this A-NOD INC's guide will help you navigate through this situation if it should ever happen to you, and even more so to our loved ones. Because how you choose to navigate through this situation is uniquely yours so that in the end you will feel empowered, and "put back together" an ending that dispels the darkness".
A-NOD INC Together Safely and Supportively.
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