Reflection of A-NOD

Reflecting on the seven years since I met Teresa. Learning to present—and then her passionate voice of “run with this safe space”—has come full circle.

My first presentation was during the Ankeny Police Department’s CIT training and later at the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy and then at the Des Moines Police Department. Each time, I felt intimidated because who was I to tell law-enforcement experts my family’s story?  A distance that I unknowingly placed within my presentation-on the other hand that may have fed my family story because of its truth of "how I have perceived Officers' actions even though both Larry and I have family members who are Police Officers and the work that we have done within the presence of them. Yet Yesterday, however, I did not feel that within me. I felt I was speaking with people-no matter the role- who genuinely wanted to address mental health concerns safely and supportively. I was no longer presenting to the Police Department-I was having a conversation with them hoping that something I said "resonated because of the role that they were choosing to embrace". Run with their choice-just safely and supportively. 

This said, it hardly mattered that the reception of A-NOD at my first Police Department Family Presentation was not received well,—although, admittedly, it mattered a little. Yet looking back how could else would the reception be "if the A-NOD process wasn't yet clarified or understood. So today I credit this initial "no now" contributing to A-NOD's work as well. It was warranted, helped me step back and reflectively ask why. Unable to show me, the time I had in these seven years, to enter into the spaces differently as well as the Ankeny Police Department did. 

Because what is right: people need to understand how to respond in the presence of a police officer, even when its hard---because here is what I observed yesterday-one of the speakers mentioned that "she was looked upon as a criminal because of what her condition manifested in terms of behaviors", something I have seen and heard when speaking with other families when they share, not hopefully intended yet "what happens". And I saw genuine concern towards the speaker, a silent message sent, to the speaker, "like no you were not a criminal, there is no way she was a criminal at that point, yet reflectively from a police officer perspective understood why that could be "seen". It moved me. 

As such, I would not have fully understood this perspective that is until I was able to participate in the Ankeny Police Department class I attended from February through April. It was eye-opening. It encouraged participants to reconsider what they knew—or thought they knew. And recognize any intimidational thought, giving them a realistic sense of what officers may face and how outcomes can unfold.

This said, Media coverage can further complicate those situations. That will be our next gap going forward during the baseball game fundraiser-we get to be interviewed for ten minutes and one of the points I will address is a message to the media on the need to be aware how a spin is not a win on how a situation is portrayed. It can create the intimidational gaps between patron and police/First Responders, etc. 

Returning to another perspective reason the police department could not endorse A-NOD- They did not understand what it was or why we used it-, it did not tell officers what conditions they might encounter. And an uniform alerts one that there is an Officer present. That was fair.

Seven years later, however, A-NOD still does not list diagnoses on the decal. Based on conversations with families and with you, I believe that remains important because of the stigma people with mental health conditions and experiences face, problematic if one  has past concerns with Officers/First Responders. And I believe she understands that concern: people do not want their diagnosis displayed on a triangle.

I raised that point yesterday while speaking with the police department. That said, I wish I had phrased one comment differently. I said that, at one point, the uniform does not matter; more respectfully, I mean that the person wearing it matters most because you, me, and all of us carry something- a resolve to come together.

I mentioned that one in four people experience a mental health concern, and that reality was present in the room. We knew the presenters had faced mental health concerns, but we did not know whether any Police Academy participants had as well. In truth, within that moment they may not have felt able to openly say so, because do you remember the presentation at the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy? One officer did approach us and transparently said she did have a condition but because of the work environment "it was known yet not really known". I felt really sad for her and then a little scared for her because of the role she was serving in--that was a hard place to be in yet hopefully on some level helped her to recognize when she was aiding another who was also dealing with their conditions. Still, the need for safety and support at all times. 

The same is true for our family members. I told the group that I never want any of us to be hurt, which is why I care so deeply about this work, regardless of which resource is used. As such I acknowledged there that other resources existed, didn't name them, because I have a sense that Lorna already knew-A strong mental health leader within the police department would understand that, and I believe she does making the difference of how we collectively address Mental Health Concerns. As such, I plan to email her to thank her for allowing the participants to attend and for allowing me to share my family’s story, including the A-NOD component.

This said, three attendees approached me afterward to ask about the decals. I cannot know or control what they will do with them unless they tell me, but to me, their interest felt like an endorsement—a nod- a seed planted.

 And because seeds continue to be planted,, I continue presenting my family A-NOD story while nodding to other resources, including the stickers developed by the Clive and Des Moines police departments, because I envision supporting all the options where mental health concerns are noted. Gaps need to be lessoned and how matters. 

As such, I may add this encouragement nod to my presentation: families can create resources that complement existing tools and make a meaningful difference for those who use them. Empowering isn't it. How? 

A-NOD will show you how because of a voice that did for us, ❤️and the more we support one another and embrace a range of options, the more we can address mental health